May no paths be bound

[May no paths be bound]

[beardedchrisevans]

[harryngtonewithyourshit]

Is Chris Evans Steve Rogers or is Steve Rogers Chris Evans?

[casbean]

good

[gunsandfireandshit]

“Fellas, is it gay to be a good father?”

[flower-lesbienne]

Shout out to Harry Hill

[yip-yip]

[ingek73]

I think Piers is somewhat of a national laughing stock by now

[angryfishtrap]

if I don’t reblog a good burn on piers morgan, assume I’m dead

[fuckingtiredbitch]

The logic of “Brands will only hop on the train if they can prove it’s profitable” makes it so much funnier when they clown on this fool. “Yeah we crunched the numbers and we found it to be profitable to call this clown out in public. Jacob hit the post button.”

[May no paths be bound]

[wondersmith-and-sons]

foreman. babe. we’re at the bottom end of season 8. you have worked here for almost a decade. why are you still surprised there's medical malpractice going on at the medical malpractice department that you, personally, used to do medical malpractice at

[wondersmith-and-sons]

some of my fave tags on this post

god this show is truly bonkers isn’t it.

[May no paths be bound]

[lizardsfromspace]

Finding out that Elon Musk was forced out as CEO of PayPal in favor of noted vampire Peter Thiel bc Elon Musk was adamant they keep it named "X dot com" instead of Paypal unlocks so much. His space company, his literal child, and now Twitter: it's the world's most inane Rosebud. He actually bought back the URL, like a cherished childhood sled (owning the right to name a website the letter "X")

Some people told him it made more sense to have their banking company have a indicative name instead of generically being called "X" with vague allusions to being The Site For Everything, and he'll prove those fools WRONG by getting the same things yelled at him over a different website's name twenty years later

[lizardsfromspace]

For twenty two years he's been stewing about people telling him PayPal was a better name for a payment site than X. He was so invested in X dot com at the time they waited to hold the vote until he was on vacation. He has been furious over people saying "it's better for our site to have a name that tells you what it is instead of a letter" since before 9/11. This is his entire life

ALT

Pictured above: the only moment Elon Musk has ever been happy, before it turned to all-consuming rage and envy over a single letter

[aromancy]

Is... is THAT why he called his space company SpaceX???

[aromancy]

fr tho, I'm convinced at this point that he got divorced just so he could have another X.

[noahbaumbachmaritalstatus]

STATUS: DIVORCED

[chongoblog]

And in case you all forgot, literally the name of his child is X

[May no paths be bound]

[beesmygod]

"women are my favorite guy" is the phrase of the summer imo

[beesmygod]

i cant stop thinking about it. its so fucking funny

[May no paths be bound]

[fairycosmos]

mistakes are so normal and human and inevitable and necessary and real. if i make one however please put me to death

[May no paths be bound]

[pocketss]

so hard to find a decent exorcist these days :/

[May no paths be bound]

[tomgirlhysteria-deactivated2023]

oh yes i know of him. not in the sense that i am familiar with his work but i have seen my mutuals make insane and nonsensical comments about him. so

[May no paths be bound]

[plausible-fabulist]

widespread archaeological evidence suggests that many North Americans of this era acknowledged the existence of three genders: "men", "women", and "employees only"

[chaotic-archaeologist]

BEHOLD the publication on the similarities and differences between "Employees" and "Authorized Personnel" which both appear on door signs in 21st century North American culture.

[May no paths be bound]

[herbertwest]

Look, if you're starving in a post-apocalyptic wasteland and suddenly someone is like 'oh I have tons of food and it just happens to be meat do you want some lol' you CANNOT act surprised when it's people. You simply CANNOT.

[herbertwest]

There are times and places where it is realistic to expect NOT to be served people. For example, in a pie shop underneath a barber shop. THEN you can be all 'OH GOD IT'S PEOPLE.'

If you are in a post-apocalyptic wasteland and are suddenly served a really good meat pie, you have to know it's people. Do you see any cows? No, they all apocalypsed. It's your neighbor.

[herbertwest]

If you're served food in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, ask yourself these questions first:

1. Do I trust the person feeding me?
2. Is this meat fresh, and if so, have there been any livestock non-apocalypsed recently?
3. Have I seen Kevin within the past week?
4. Am I willing to commit the penultimate culinary taboo? (The ultimate culinary taboo is putting pineapple on pizza, a crime I regularly commit)

[evilkitten3]

5. how much did i even like kevin, really

[May no paths be bound]

[amygdalan-arm]

my favorite ways Zagreus has canonically died on the surface (according to the narrator)

• bitten by a snake after trying to say hello to it
• deadly allergic response from smelling flowers
• set off an avalanche shouting to hear his voice echo
• wandered into traffic & got hit by a chariot
• stepped on a rake and it hit him in the head
• ran headfirst into a wall painted to look like the way out
• slipped on a banana peel

[amygdalan-arm]

[May no paths be bound]

[laskulls]

person: reanimating corpses for use in battle is unethical

necromancer: I am recycling

person: now someone has to go and fight the corpses

necromancer: I am also, consequently, creating jobs

[laskulls]

you laugh, but some necromancer is out there setting up a PowerPoint presentation

[May no paths be bound]

[toskarin]

it's always funny when someone comments on eurodance like "why don't they make music like this anymore" because they DO and it's one of the most creatively stagnant genres on earth (spoken with love in my heart for it)

[toskarin]

all you need to make eurodance is one female vocalist (mediocre-to-incredible), one male vocalist who Cannot sing but can say shit like "I'm a sex king man with a party plan / international nation hand in hand" in a deep voice, and an apartment somewhere in italy

[toskarin]

I only just fucking put together why this post started getting notes again

[May no paths be bound]

[buried-in-stardust]

A cover of 江南 by 林俊傑 on a 竹笛 (zhu2di2; bamboo flute) and 洞箫 (dong4xiao1; a vertically blown flute).

[buried-in-stardust]

A comment chain from under this video:

[May no paths be bound]

[biggaybunny]

Tumblr staff: ten options is enough for polls, right? No one needs more than that on a regular basis.
The average tumblr user: Hey guys which element of the periodic table do you think is the most fuckable?

[lady-inkyrius]

Posting hole

[lady-inkyrius]

Lol

[metastablephysicist]

yeah yeah carbon nanotubes. but what about the copper nanotubes.

[osterby]

Do NOT buy your copper nanotubes from Ea Nasir, those things are not body safe.

[May no paths be bound]

[memewhore]